Being noticed, the problem of geo location dating and a small town.

I was looking through my drafts recently, and realized I never actually posted this. It’s… almost a year out of date, but I hope you enjoy it.

So… Like many things in life, being in rural area changes up. Combine low amount of people, with being rather visually distinctive and it was inevitable that one day I would just run into someone who recognized me from one of the geo location dating apps, like 9monsters.

Earlier this year it happened. I cycled to Geo, to browse their games. Finding a wonderful ice blue DS Lite in wonderful condition. When I was leaving though, an older man walked up to me and said “… 9monsters?” as if it was some kind of weird secret code…

Which to be fair, it is.

And I knew this day had to come. After all, on 9mon I am the only white man within about 70km of me, maybe more. (although that’s changed now) It was inevitable that I would run into someone nearby who would remember me from the app.  I had mentally prepared for this. And said:


And then I got that full “what is this bizarre creature I’ve found” look that I’ve seen from so many kids. Which always is awkward and doubly so when the man giving you the look is from a dating app. Apparently, I was the first foreigner he ever met. Naturally this meant he was amazed at my “Sapphire blue eyes” to the point he just couldn’t get through more than 4 sentences without reminding me. I’ve met gay guys in Saijo before from 9mon, even some who were fascinated by my exotic aesthetic. He was apparently friends with a friend of mine, and invited me to join him in going to that person’s place. I’d hoped this mutual friend would normalize things a little more, but no…

In fact it intensified the awkwardness much much more. Since the friend spoke much better English this guy I’d just met used it as a way to ask all these terribly awkward questions. In actual fact it was weirdly reminiscent of many less than stellar conversations I’d experienced on the app itself. I am really quite sure “How often do you masturbate?” is not a normal question to ask people regardless of how much they BOTH insisted it was. However, being a polite person and, usually, enjoying the company of the mutual friend, I stayed long enough to be polite and not a moment longer.

However, despite this negative experience, I actually have a lot more positive experiences with online dating in Japan than negative really. And this is certainly the exception, but one I expect to encounter again someday (small town it’s somewhat inevitable)


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